Shitburns

Posted on November 16, 2007 by justin.
Categories: Fake Content.
He, who heard the sound of thy holy trumpet, and took not warning. He hath clearly wandered too far from the word of God. And Cornelius Bernard Hatcher, your hour has come. Let’s get it on, Big Boy. It’s time to get back on the path.

Cornelius Bernard Hatcher = the shoutbox spam bots.  Me = The Roc–erm excuse me.. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

Also, I’m not actually doing anything about the spam bots.. just pretending like I am.  Reverse physcology.

In reality, I’m more or less just posting because I haven’t in a long time :)

almost content…

Posted on November 15, 2007 by John.
Categories: Fake Content.

well we almost had some content here, so clearly we couldnt post anything for a while.

actually its because kraft is a JERK…

ah well to the point, i figured id share some of these fairly wonderfull web comics ive been reading for a while now…

Three Panel Soul

id imagine you may of seen this one, the guys from MacHall doing it, something different and quite entertaining.

VG Cats

yes i read VG cats, go to hell…

Concerned

based on HL2, very wonderfull.

Gone With The Blast Wave

kinda like red vs blue, but its own special wonderfullness, though the guy doing it appears to of lost interest or something, hopefully he makes some more soon.

Post Nuke

i thought it kinda looked dumb, but its fairly entertaining, and the guy doing it has some talent, some really well drawn stuff at times.

anywase that dose it for now, maby kraft will stop being a tard (he is also a jerk) and post something on here, but id imagine his household repairs and freting about his wall plugs and groundings and toilets has him too busy for the rest of us…fucker…

The ACME Klein Bottle

Posted on August 20, 2007 by justin.
Categories: Fake Content.

Large Klein BottleEvery now and again I wonder to www.kleinbottle.com and hope that I will someday own one of these fine pieces, to marvel at for all time. Particularly intriguing is the Klein Stein, which actually has somewhat of an everyday use, compared to most of the other items.

I think what I like most is the corny humor found on the site, perhaps more so than the bottles themselves. Take for example this snippet from the specs page:

CAUTION! Acme Klein Bottles are crafted from glass, an inorganic solid in an amorphous non-crystalline state. If dropped, an Acme Klein Bottle may shatter, possibly into paired single-sided Möbius loops. But then again, it may not. Other shocks — including fast decelerations and Republican landslides — may lead to similar fragmentation. Hand wash only, do not tumble dry.

Don’t even get me started on the dihydrogen monoxide section.

Zero-volume never looked so good.. or something.

Man vs Highway

Posted on August 19, 2007 by John.
Categories: Fake Content.

haha so i love watching guys like Bear Grylls go out and torture themselves and do all sorts of crazy crap, but come on, atleast Les Stroud actually finds places where there isnt a road just over there…

Thriller, prison style

Posted on July 29, 2007 by justin.
Categories: Fake Content, Music, Videos.

This might be the coolest video I’ve seen all week. Inmates from a prison in The Philippines recreate Michael Jackon’s “Thriller” amazingly well.

edit: YouTube appears temporarily borked. Also, I removed the link to the site it was on, since the page occasionally loaded a trojan download o_O

Five one-millionths of one percent, baby!

Posted on July 9, 2007 by justin.
Categories: Fake Content.

Seriously folks, gonad.org is going places.  Check out this neat-o t-shirt I can get from Alexa.com:

Alexa t-shirt

Five one-millions, friends.. and I’m sure that’s rounded up.  There’s 6,602,224,175 people in the world, and 1,154,358,778 with internet access.

1,154,358,778 people x 0.000005% = 57.7179389 people

That’s right, 58 (well, 57, plus some dude missing some limbs or something) people actually like gonad.org.  This is astounding news.  This is “stop the presses!” kind of stuff.

I’m going to throw a party, and only friends of the site are invited.  I just need to figure out a fitting test to weed the correct folks out — one of those three-life-or-death-challenges deals.  I could just steal some ideas from Indiana Jones or The Golden Child.  Any ideas?

Best update to Google Maps yet

Posted on June 29, 2007 by justin.
Categories: Fake Content.

When I’m finding driving directions, I hop to 3 or 4 different sites — usually Google Maps, Live Search Maps, and Yahoo! Maps.  Much of the time, I’m somewhat familiar with my destination, and have an idea of which roads I would like to avoid, or a particular route I enjoy, etc.  In the end, I often end up cobbing up my own hand-written directions, or printing out 3 different nearly-similar routes out of disgust.

Basically, Google has added a new feature that blows my current map making methods away.  If you’ll check that link, I’ve plotted my own route from Amsterdam (where I work!) to Cooperstown (home of the Baseball Hall of Fame, which I haven’t been to in 300,000 years).  The nice part is that I was able to simply drag the route around to choose the roads I’d like to take, and mark a few stops along the way (although, I don’t think I’d stop in Sharon Springs for long, due to the smell).

I’d say Google has outdone itself with this one.  Too bad my giant gas-sucking 80’s luxurymobile is best suited for shortest-path travel.

A warning from the future?

Posted on June 28, 2007 by justin.
Categories: Fake Content.

When I saw this, I decided it wasn’t just another spam email.  Something BIG is going on in the cosmos.  This is a sign, friends.

From:  “justin” <justin@hahaheehee.com>
Subject:  linguistic vacuum cleaner
Date:  Thu, June 28, 2007 3:07 am
To:  justin@[DELETED!]

——————————————————————————–
wbldnbg
 ocds  tdnch
 ijtms

Am I warning myself of the apocalypse from the future? Or perhaps alternate-dimension me is playing a joke on me me… “Linguistic vacuum cleaner?” Am I going to make a grammar mistake that will end life as we know it??  And why was that ad for viag–OH NEVERMIND!

Quick, somebody crack the code!  Time is of the essence!

Dearest Interwebbernetterbutts,

Posted on June 13, 2007 by justin.
Categories: Fake Content.

It appears several people have noticed that I’ve disappeared.

I should have my cable/internet/phone installed in next Thursday, so I should be back soon!

I’ve been reading my email and messages here, so feel free to write ;)

Also, here, have some badly compressed fire exit signs:

Fire exit signs?

Holy Shart! THUNDERCATS, HOO!

Posted on June 7, 2007 by justin.
Categories: Fake Content.

Just saw this one on Digg.  A CGI animated version of Thundercats is being made, to be released in theaters in the near future.  I have to say, I’m pretty excited about this one.  I enjoyed the Thundercats perhaps a bit too much during my childhood (and still enjoy the occasional downloaded-from-intarwebs episode now and then).

In fact, I have a horribly ugly Thundercats wallpaper that I made 8 or 9 years ago.  I need to locate that and share if for celebratory purposes.

They better make Snarf look extra awesome.