Title is unrelated to content.

I bought the new Red Hot Chili Peppers CD. I know this is a departure from the usual indie music that gets talked about around here, and I feel like you’ll think less of me after this post, but that’s okay. RHCP is one of my favorite bands for the last five or six years, and I’m not at all ashamed to admit that.

The CD starts out jagged with some random drums and tuning notes on Monarchy of Roses. The song is a good opener that seems like a totally new direction for the band, kind of like Warped did in 1995 on the One Hot Minute record that I don’t think anyone talks about anymore. The chorus is bright and shiny, though, and feels very Chili Peppers-esque. I give this song an 8/10!

Factory of Faith. Kiedis rap/sings through most of this song. It’s got a great groove and reminded me of Hump de Bump from Stadium Arcadium. The instrumental bridge is out of the nowhere and very solid. Also 8/10.

Brendan’s Death Song is fucking brilliant. Excellent poetry, powerful overall. The first time I heard it I wanted the song to end a minute earlier, but the oft repeated chorus along with a chaotic drums/bass for the last part of the song becomes more appropriate the more you listen to it. Another great bridge that really punches you in the chest (not literally, don’t be afraid). 10/10 fo sho.

Etheopia is the next song on the CD. The lyrics start out with ‘E I O I E I A.” and that’s according to the lyric book. WTF? I guess it’s typical peppers. The chorus is okay, I don’t remember much else about it right now. 7/10

Annie Wants a Baby Now – This is an okay song; not worth mentioning on its own but not worth skipping either. 7/10.

Look Around – The chorus on this one is so annoying that it buries the rest of the song. 5/10

The Adventures of Raindance Maggie – If you listen to pop radio, you’ve undoubtedly heard this one. I can sing along with this song, but I’m okay with it being over when it is over. 7/10

Did I Let You Know – One of my favorite songs on the cd; an interesting guitar jingle peppers every line, alternating with the vocals on some parts and overall making things all nice-nice. The chorus is great, and the first time on the cd that new guitarist Josh sings lead. 9/10

Goodbye Hurrah – Can’t be very good since I don’t remember how it goes. I’m pretty sure it’s one of the skip ahead songs that ends up on any RHCP cd. ?/10

Happiness Loves Company – Really good song; the lyrics make no sense, there’s piano, and it’s got a decent foot stompin’ quality to it. The chorus reminds me of a song that I wrote, but I’m not upset about that or anything. 9/10

Police Station – The verses have a nice vocal melody; probably some of the best on the cd, the chorus is pretty snazzy too, Josh’s backing vocals offer some nice counterpoint. He does sound a little weird and breathy in this song though. Since originally writing this review the song has grown on me a bit more, I now give it an additional point. 8/10

Even You Brutus? – All this song has going for it is the back and forth between preach/rapping and singing and not even that is all that good; the chorus is atrocious with the little howl that Kiedis gives at the end of some of the lines; I can’t believe nobody, not a producer or a bandmate or an executive or anybody would tell him how dumb he sounds when he’s doing that. If I could break one part off one part of this CD so I could burn it and never heard it again, it would be this song. -4/10

Meet Me at the Corner – A quiet, somber, beautiful song. It reminds me of “If” from Stadium Arcadium or “I could die for you” from By the Way, except inverted lyrically. It’s a breakup song of some sort, and apparently Keidis sits in a forest through part of it, which is a little weird if you take it literally. (10/10)

Dance, Dance, Dance – Fucking rubbish track; By The Way ended with the epic Venice Queen, Stadium Arcadium ended with the equally epic “Death of a Martian,” I’m With You ends with a fucking dance song; the last line is ‘Let’s play, let’s play.” It’s catchy but it makes you want to gouge your eyeballs/earballs out.

Also as a side note, the inclusion of Josh on some of these songs gives the songs a Ween-esque quality for some reason. I’ve only listened to one Ween album (Chocolate and Cheese), but some of Josh’s backing vocals remind me of that of ‘Roses are Free’, or ‘Joppa Road.’

I give the album overall a 7/10, and that may or may not be the actual average rating of the aforementioned songs. I’m not here to teach math, I’m here to review a CD. But just in case anyone is here thinking I’m going to give a math lesson, here’s how you convert Fahrenheit to Celsius:

C=(5/9)*(F-32)

I hope any confusion has been resolved.